I was married to the man of my dreams, everything I could have wanted. We had a great relationship (I thought) everyone saw us as "that" couple for 12 years. 2 years ago I was in a near fatal wreck, very critically injured. While I was in the hospital I found out he had went and found a girlfriend. When I confronted him I was told "I have not been happy for a long time. (Really?! so why all the love letters, cards, flowers, etc) he went on to say "I just dont want to worry about anyone, but myself anymore". This happened at thanksgiving, he decided he was going to give the marriage a chance and "try". I tried, God knows I tried. But Christmas rolls around and I find out he is still seeing her or started to see her again, not sure what the truth is there. New Years, he comes to spend with me, because I was still in pretty bad shape. I came home from the hospital and he moc=ved in with his girlfrind, but would not completely move in he would come him 1 night a week or so "to make sure I was ok". Said he was confused, one minute he wanted to be happily married to me, the next he wanted to be with her, the next he wanted to be alone. Said he needed time, and me being dumb allowed it. My birthday rolls around and we had plans for a romantic weekend (Yes he still had his girlfriend), he EMAILED me on my birthday to tell me he decided he wanted out of the marriage. Now prior to this he was kinda with both of us (I know I cant believe I would allow that, I NEVER thought I would!). So now he has ruined Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and my Birthday....I told him I would move but he had to give me time to finish with all of my medical stuff, because I was moving back home 2800 miles away. He said fine. During this time he would still come to the house, still kiss me passionately and still act like we were a couple, even tho he had said he made up his mind. One day he ame in a gave me a hug and kiss and I responded, his response? "If things had of been like this there would have been no separation" Really? I thought this was all because you were "unhappy"! As it got closer to being time for me to leave, he would say things like "I wish you werent leaving, at least if you stayed we could go for coffee sometimes". I really do not know waht to think. I dont know who this man is or where my husband went, but this guy is nt the guy I married. So is taht a narissit or a a**hole?
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I'm really sorry to hear about your accident. That in itself is devastating. Not signing the papers is probably a way to control you. It's like his last bit of influence over your life. I'm glad you got so far away so that you can start putting your life back together again. Let us know how it goes, if/when he signs.
Actualy an older lady feel asleep at the wheel and crossed ver the line and hit me at highway speeds.
The reason I was thinking narissist is because before the accident I did everything for him, (you know fed the ego) I see now that beause of the accident I was unable to put him "first" anymore as I had to look after myself. I do believe that is what he meant about if things had of been this way. I was messed up for over a year, but then once I was fine again and started showing him attention again in the way he liked and did not have to put myself first, that is when he made that comment. From everything I have read he seems to fit. Ruin every special occasion. Try to keep me close. When I was unable to feed his ego found someonewho could. Leaves his wife (the woman he always refered to as the love of his life) when she is critically injured and unable to put him first, etc.
I have moved, I am 2700 miles away from him,and divorce should be final anyday, IF he finally signed the papers (Last time I chcked he had not). I mean if you destoyd your marriage for another woman, why wont you sign the papers?
Wow I really wanted to say that the guy was just an asshole but after reading a little more I'm starting to wonder if he made your accident happen! I'm pretty sure its traumatic just to think about the accident and you might not even remember anything from the accident but are you sure your break lines weren't cut? I would at least check into the possibility that you have a life insurance policy? If things had been like this there wouldn't have been a separation?
I'm sorry but I can't separate your accident from his statements and timing. Honey I don't know if he is a narcissist but he definatley sounds like a murderer so if I were you I would leave and not even look back. Hopefully in a couple years you don't read about the disappearance of his new girlfriend in the news paper. Narcissist? Maybe. Piece of Shit, Yes.