Narcissistic families and Estrangement

No contact, ostracism, or rejection are common place in narcissistic families. Sometimes we don't understand what is going on in our families until we end up leaving them or slowly disappearing as the pain pushes us into isolation. This estrangement can take place for many reasons and usually you are the one to blame.

No contact happens as the result of repeatedly trying to fix a realationship with a narcissistic family member. Many children who grow up in narcissistic families have had their entire lives and reputations destroyed by their abusers. No contact is not an act of revenge or spite. When one goes no contact they are not doing it as a means to hurt feelings or stick the knife in a little deeper into the wounds.

Many seem to get this concept confused with a narsissistic abusers use of the silent treatment. Let us make a clear distinction between the two. The silent treatment is used during a relationship when a person suffering from narcissism decides to punish another person or to get their way in an arguement. This could go on for days and is used as a means to gain control over another.

Normal people do not like conflict. Normal people want relationship problems resolved, and quickly! Normal people do not like fighting with people they love and they do not go out of their way to hurt the people they love. Here lies the distinction between silence as abuse and silence as self protection.

Being estranged from your family is not something most take lightly. It requires alot of self reflection and heartache to get to the point of needing to walk away from your family. To make matters worse, those who need to go no contact with their families end up losing more than just the narcissistic family member.

When we go no contact we lose brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and lifelong family friends because those people are forced to take sides by the narcissist. If they don't take sides they decide they will ignore the situation and pretend it is not happening. By this point we know we need to surround ourselves with people who support us and people who believe us as the narcissist has spent years creating lies to cover their abuse.

If you are low contact and not sure what to do now this is the place for you. If you are no contact and healing then this is the place for you. Healing will not happen overnight. I don't even know if healing completely is even possible but we have the option of remaining a victim or standing up and thriving. The choice is in your hands. This is a place for those who have been estranged or ostracised to connect and find support.

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